I Wanna Know What Love Is

I had a dream last night about someone who had a crush on me a while back. It was uncomfortable then, as he tore down my friends and relationships in the hope, I suppose, that I would come to my senses and see what I was missing with him, and it was similarly uncomfortable in the dream. To be fair to him, I know have acted similarly in the past. It's mind boggling when someone we see as a perfect fit doesn't feel the same way. Unfortunately, it seems to have a lot more to do with a certain look than it ever does with personality or beliefs or what have you.

I've always theorized that our hormones decide with whom we fall in love. We want to propagate our genes, and they're looking for the robust, good-looking, healthy types. The Brad Pitts, not Sid Vicious.

But I know that not to be entirely true. I know some people replay their first parental relationships and fall in love, because their fathers treated them like shit, with Sid Vicious over and over again, the never-ending rehabilitation project.

If hormones explain the good-looking types and environment explains the emotional type of crush, how to explain people who only fall in love with skinny guys or girls who look like Angelina Jolie? Did they mate with a similar-looking person in a previous life and are subconsciously trying to reunite with them?

I also think we fall in love with people because we think they're perfect for us. For instance, the guy in my dream—he didn't really know me, and he never will. He only loved his idea of me, how I'd complement him if we were together. But he had no idea how we'd actually be together. We sense, if our crushes only change a little, bend here and there, that they will be perfect. We're always willing to take the risk.

But why? We fall in lust with strangers everyday. What does it mean? Why and how does anybody ever fall in love at all? I don't understand love, and I never will. Regardless of how real or fake it is, we'll do so many stupid things for it and it hurts so bad when it's not returned. Dear reader, I wanna know what love is. I want you to tell me.