Reality Bites

K and I stumbled upon the premiere of The Real World VIII: Austin last night after the ball game. I'm not a big fan of the reality universe in general and had stopped watching Real World back at Hawaii, but after teasing glimpses of normalcy on Real World VII: Philadelphia, last season, I thought, what the heck. Besides, Austin has a great indie music scene and progressive values that seem to be the antithesis of the rest of the state. Surely something interesting will come of their existence there.

Am I a prude?

Sure, the shows are heavily edited to provide titillating content. I mean, the cast memebers probably talked about studying Russell's paradox, their work in the Peace Corp, and how to solve the blight of inner cities, right? I'm sure it all got edited out. Instead, what were we subjected to in the first hour of real-world madness? Everyone, within five minutes of getting to the house, talked about with whom they wanted to hook up. Within a few hours, they were drunk and scantily clad. Within two days, there had already been a fistfight outside a bar, with one RW member requiring surgery to pull out the impacted bone in his orbital socket.

I'm sure our discussions revolved around similar topics as freshman or sophomores in college, but everything in the show just seemed so high school. This morning, I visited to some of the popular RW message boards online to get viewers' takes of the premiere. Surely, like me, they thought VIII was the lamest ever.

Wrong.

"Best show ever!" They gushed. "So and so is cool and crazy." "So and so is crazy and cool." "So and so is hot and crazy and cool." Are these the only words in the young adult lexicon these days? How did these kids get past the verbal portion of their SATs?

I know these kids are young and will grow up and have real issues, but let's stop being polite and start being real, okay? These kids will never be people with whom I identify. We will never have similar existentialist crises whether at 25, 35, or 85. These kids will graduate onto other, "adult," reality shows, for sure, but they will be shows such as Fear Factor and, if they happen to procreate, Nanny 911. Why isn't there a reality show that reflects the lives of me and my friends? It wouldn't be boring. Sex and drama and drunkeness for eighteen episodes is boring. Complexity in life is not boring, even if it's an episode on someone struggling with debt or with the decision to make a drastic job change or to have kids. Sorry, if the Real World is indicative of some real cultural undercurrent to which I am not a part, I'd rather remain here in fantastyland any day.