Dreams Recurring
For years I have had the same dream: it is my last semester at school, all my friends have already graduated, and I must live with a new roommate and find new friends.
I had it again last night.
I used to think the dream symbolized some sort of achievement that others had accomplished that I had not, eg, financial success, academic achievement, personal relationship, although I know I have succeeded in all of these realms. I know I "meaure up" and have not been "left behind" in any goal-related way. Now I wonder whether this dream symbolizes a new direction I must take, that I am not destined to follow my friends into their married, suburban life. I always thought I knew this, but I think I am still on the cusp of the transition, hanging onto what I know when I need to do the hard work of fully creating the life I will excel in.
I think we have to move. We've been talking about it for years, but I think that the only way to not get stuck is to move. I certainly don't want to leave close friends and family behind, yet I know there is something more I need to find, accomplish; even if it's inside me, perhaps a change of scenery will help draw it out.
posted by Jen @ 9:06 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
That's an interesting dream, indeed. I have the one that I think is pretty common: it's the end of the semester and I have managed to not only not go to any classes, I don't even know where they ARE, like what buildings, what rooms, etc. And I have to take FINALS! Some might argue that this is the way I spent my last few years at SMC, but anyway.
That's a good interpretation of your dream, though. Moving out of the area is something I have never had the guts to do...
LLB
I keep thinking about moving, but I am slowly getting entrenched here. Also, LitBlitz, that dream is pretty common. I had a version of that dream after I graduated from high school. I dreamed I failed high school and couldn't graduate. My red-haired bearded computer science teacher was to blame. He told me my final project sucked. (I thought it was pretty cool. He just didn't like me because I was the only girl in his computer game programming class.) I would dream and re-dream him telling me I sucked, I failed his class and therefore I failed high school.
I looked it up and it seems lots of people have this dream.
LLB, I have a dream like that often as well, that I can't find my classes or I have hundreds of pages of unfinished reading for class. Those dreams drive me crazy--I can literally feel the tension in my body when I wake up. Maktaaq--did you dream about Anisoara? Such a lovely ceremony! My condolences and love
No dreams about Ani that I can remember. My sister, however, did dream about her.
That's so interesting that high school or college can have such a grave impact that we're still having these dreams 15+ years later! (Well, 15+ years for me, anyway.) That it's so common that it sticks with you. Thank the dear Lord I never have one of my professors featured prominently in my dreams... I can never find them. I can think of a few of my English profs I wouldn't be wanting to face in that dream! ;)
LLB
I've had a similar dream recently, the bugger comes back like a January cold. In mine I'd registered for a course and never attended and now it was finals time and I had to take the exam but first I had to find the classroom. Of course in college I actually did that with a couple of (lame) classes and pulled it off just fine. Who needs to know what a bunch of 20 year olds think about "Moby Dick" was my view of seminars.
Anyhow, your thoughts on milestones and measuring up really resonate with me right now, going through the same sort of reassessment. Perhaps everyone is, and we are all dreaming our way through adulthood.
Post a Comment
<< Home