To Baby or Not to Baby
It had to happen sometime, I guess. Although babies, in my dreams, usually symbolize other things (infantile behavior—mine or someone else's, a growing burden, needing to take ownership of a problem), the baby in my dream last night, I think, was just a big ol' baby. My friend Kevin and I were at a bar when I remembered that I was supposed to be taking care of the baby. I brought a cold, wet baby (sweat? urine?) from the back room and tried to change its diaper and clothes. I realized that I hadn't bought diapers in months and that the ones I had no longer fit. I promised my little girl I'd be better about taking care of her, and she smiled and cooed at me.
Boy, was I in love after that. Of course, now that I think about it, sounds like another symbolic baby dream. Oh well.
While we're on the subject, a few stipulations for my having or adopting a baby: must be a girl. Must skip ages of two and three. Must sleep through the night. Must be a quiet baby. Must not be a biter.
None of my friends have babies, except for one or two couples. Why is that? Have your friends found their way into parenthood? Why is a whole generation of thirtysomethings shafting their breeder duty? Are we self-centered or scared? When I listen to my ovaries, I hear a flatline. But I know time is running out. So hence I ponder: to baby or not to baby?
posted by Jen @ 10:59 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Hmm, your stipulations sounds more compatible with adopting a baby, somehow... Also, I believe you are an anomaly, since every goddamn person I know has had at least 17 children already... or, well, at least one.
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My biological clock is on Daylight Savings time, and I've hit the snooze button on it so often that I think it gave up. I can categorically state that I have never had a baby dream, or a dream with a baby in it, mine or anyone else's (baby that is - not dream). Even my nieces and nephews. No pregnancy dreams (me or anyone I know) either. Wonder what that means? (she asks obliviously)
Oh man, a whole bunch of my friends have babies now. A ton. And more all the time. And most are big proponents of the practice, obviously. (It's amazing, incredible, life changing, etc., etc.)
I have this argument with myself all the time -- which is silly because I don't have anybody in my life and while I see nothing wrong with single motherhood, I know myself well enough -- and know how selfish I am -- to know I couldn't do it on my own. No way, no how. Sooo... it's kind of a moot point since I'm 34 and running out of time.
But sometimes I think I really do want kids -- and sometimes I really think I don't. And part of me wonders if the only reason I do have any inkling of wanting them is sheerly because at some point, I won't be able to bear children, and then I might regret it, and then how pissed will I be?
Lame, I know. I guess I would have to force myself to have greater clarity on the issue if I were in a relationship.
You know, this blog thing has really gotten weird. It's sad that when you mentioned this dream and I asked for more details, your response was that you blogged about it. So rather than having conversations, are we now supposed to blog back and forth?
That said, my vote is "not to baby." I think your dream was probably about Maggie, given that she needs so much attention.
Linda and LLB, I'm in your camp. I (nor my partner) have no desire to alter my life right now for a baby, but I don't want to be crying when I'm forty, "I should've had a baby!" But I do like seeing them for a few hours at a time. Unfortunately, I'm not a big cooer or baby-talker or anything, so I kind of pet them awkwardly like they're dogs or cats and then slip away when they begin to smell.
JWER, can I adopt you as my starter baby and see how it works out?
You're playing with fire if you want jwer as a baby. He is a stinky handful. Anyway, I tend to think that a Boston terrier fits the bill.
Anon, you could be right. The diapers in the dream were about Maggie's senior-diaper size.
David, JWer is potty-trained, so there's half the battle right there.
I find I am mildly uncomfortable with these speculations, although I believe I will soon have the hairline of a baby...
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